Whiskey Lullaby
by Tacolover11
Summary: Based on the hit country song. What if Ziva had accepted Ray's marrige proposal, and because of it Tony commited suicide. Major Tiva, McAbby at the end.
1. Chapter 1

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette  
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget  
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time  
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind  
Until' the night_

He had heard the news and it tore him apart. Ziva had accepted CI Ray's marriage proposal. He tried to remain calm when he heard but now home he broke down had a beer and sobbed. Then one beer turned into two, then three, and before he knew it he had finished a six pack and had to go to bed.

Ziva couldn't sleep; she sat up in bed while her fiancé slept. She thought Tony would be happy, and he looked happy, but anyone could see that inside he was hurting. She had thought about this and decided it was the right thing to do. This was her life, her moment, and Anthony DiNozzo's feelings regarding it were not going to sway her opinion.

As morning dawned on Saturday, Ziva hadn't slept. Her mind told her to go on with the wedding, but as the night had progressed her heart had gone from just worrying about Tony's feelings, to discovering unrequited feelings she had not found before. Did she love Anthony DiNozzo, or was he just a friend?

Tony never smoked, but now it seemed to be the only logical thing to do. His heart had been broken by the one woman he had ever truly loved, and the worst part was that it was all his fault. He knew he was in love with Ziva, and he was pained whenever he saw her with boyfriend after boyfriend. But this… this was marriage, this was real. There was no longer a chance for love between him and Agent David; ad without her love he had nothing to live for.

"I can't marry you!" Ziva screamed at Ray, they had been in this fight now for half an hour. She threw her ring at Ray's head leaving a small red mark. At this he got angry and lunged at her, but she met him with a punch. He stopped and stared at her. She walked out, shoes in hand not even on her feet; she had to go see Tony.

Tony would give Ziva five minutes. He sat on his bed looking at his watch and gun. He had given her time to come around, and now he couldn't take it. He took the last swig of his bottle of Jack Daniel's green label; it was the last bottle he owned. He threw it toward the others, and cried. Four minutes, it took him a long time to make his muscles work to raise the gun. Four minutes and thirty seconds. He breathed in a deep breath of sorrow, and yelled with everything he head, "I love you Ziva!" Five minutes


	2. Chapter 2

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away her memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees  
We found him with his face down in the pillow  
With a note that said, "I'll love her till I die"  
And when we buried him beneath the willow  
The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby  
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa  
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa_

Ziva heard the gunshot on her way up the stairs and began running. She busted open the door, even though she had a key. She screamed Tony's name over and over until she reached his bedroom. She saw the empty bottles, the gun, and her love face down on the bed. She ran to him, but when she saw the bullet hole she knew it was too late. She started to cry as she turned his lifeless body; then she saw it. There was a note in his hand it read "I'll love her until I die." Ziva broke down and sobbed over him, until she was joined by Tony's niebors, and a man who had to drag her out kicking and screaming.

The twenty-one gun salute made Ziva cry for the fifth time during Tony's funeral. As she sat beneath the willow thee where tony and hr used to go and talk. Her life had gone downhill since Tony's death. She had begun drinking, at least a bottle of wine a night, and it pained her to drink every sip. She looked at the flag draped coffin and the portrait of Tony, she had loved him, and now all she could do now was drink away her pain.

As the funeral finished she went back to her apartment. Ray has collected his things earlier in the week, and left not telling anyone where he was going. She lied down on the bed, and started to cry. Though she had cried everyday these tears were the worst of all. These were tears of nothingness. She no longer had something to cry and/or live for. She had never thought of suicide. She had always thought better of herself, but now she felt that she didn't deserve to live. It was because of her Tony was dead. If she had just walked out on Ray, or left the fight sooner Tony would still be alive. She would still have her love.


	3. Chapter 3

_The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself  
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath  
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind  
Until the night_

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short, but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clinging to his picture for dear life  
We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Years passed each night Ziva would drink a bottle of whiskey, and ponder on the thought of suicide. Then looking at Tony's picture she would chose against it, and instead spend hours staring at that picture until she drifted off to sleep. Each night she felt as if he was there holding her close and telling her that it would all turn out okay. Then suddenly one day he didn't seem to be there with her and she couldn't handle it.

She knew women didn't normally turn to guns when it came to suicide, but she was not like most women. She sat on her bed and clung to Tony's picture praying he would come and tell her not to do this, but he never came.

When Ziva didn't show up for work the next day Abby became worried. Ziva had mentioned her thoughts of suicide concerning Abby, but Ziva assured her the thoughts were gone. She convinced McGee to go with her, and made him search the apartment before she went in. She expected him to come back and tell her Ziva had just overslept, but when McGee came back to her carrying Tony's blood stained photo, Abby embraced him in a hug, and cried into his shoulder.

Two days later the team gathered next to the familiar willow tree. The coffin was draped with the flags of Israel, Ziva's native country, and the United States, her current country. Instead of a portrait of her next to the coffin, there was a picture of her and Tony; Abby knew this is what Ziva would've wanted. All the team spoke, and remembered their fallen friends. They didn't blame either of them for the choices they had made. They would always remember the names and faces of Anthony DiNozzo and Ziva David, their friends and co-workers.

After everyone else had left Abby and McGee sat on the grass by the willow tree. They sat Abby's head on McGee's shoulder, McGee's head on Abby's. Then suddenly a large gust of wind made them both sit up. The wind rustling the trees sounded like angels singing. As they looked up the tree trunk toward the leaves they saw something. McGee helped Abby climb up the tree to get a closer look and followed, trying not to look up her skirt. When they got about halfway up the tree they stopped and sat on a branch. Carved in the tree was ZD+TD 4EVR, they were adults who loved each other like teenagers. Then Abby found a white piece of paper in the knot of the tree, and on it read, "To Ziva, Only Open When Given Permission," written in Tony's handwriting. Abby looked at McGee andhe took it from her and read her aloud.

"My Dearest Ziva,

I'm keeping this in our favorite spot until I can find the courage to give it to you. I love you Ziva David, yes you read it right I LOVE YOU! Also I will probably forget about this until after I have already told you I love you, but if I haven't please slap me on the back of the head. I can't go through life without you. Hope you agree. Tony." McGee then knew he couldn't make the same mistake, and looking into Abby's eyes he asked her to marry him.


End file.
